Make a little time for yourself....
So it’s been a week couple of weeks since I have written out a blog but that is for a great reason. I’m rebalancing myself. I’m in a weird spot right now that affect more actors than you would think. I’m in an in between place where I am trying to find my next step.
When I started this journey, I was completely green (new and non experienced). I tried to learn as much as I could and work hard to push through the “beginner” phase. I have heard that it can take years to push through. Well, I did it. Now what?
As a lesson for people who are just starting in this business, I learned. It’s important to have an open mind, take suggestions, take criticism, take hate even because everything has some truth and if you can peel back the bullshit, you can find out what you really need to work on. Then do it, work on yourself. I started with surrounding myself amongst other actors who were learning too. I started a weekly scene study class to learn ins and outs but to also network and build friendships. Notice I say friendships and not connections. Connections to me are more about what can I get out of it not about truly connecting with someone. I built friendships. I wanted to know people, see them for who they are and build a personal bond. I think I did that. I traveled to California, (one of) the Mecca of entertainment and went for a purpose. I was building my brand. I took acting classes in California because why the hell not. If you are out there make it worth your while. I built up my resume. Yeah you have to start somewhere and it’s funny how it all plays out. First nobody will even look at you. You can’t book an UNPAID role to save your life. it’s very discouraging and humiliating. Then you can make a choice, push through or stop. I chose to push through. As I was on my weight loss journey (and yes looks DO matter if you want to be a lead) I started booking unpaid roles, now for the paid stuff. As I worked on my craft I actually started getting paid and my resume was thickening up. I started my website, solidified my portfolio and sent in my info to various agencies. I was selected by a top agency in Texas and was shocked. This was next level shit! ALL my jobs have been paid and I’m on to bigger projects. Now what? Well, I didn’t think that far. So THATS what I have been working on.
Some things have stayed with me, I will continue to help others that were in my position because paying it forward is so fun and rewarding. I will continue to do low budget projects but I have to be more selective for sure. But here we are again.....now what?
NOW. I have to make a decision. Location matters. Texas doesn’t have TONS of opportunity, well not as much as your Californias, Atlantas and Louisianas, but still. So now what? Again, I don’t know. Right now I’m focusing on getting myself back on track. Focusing on my weight loss journey again, classes, but also me on the inside. I’ve started seeing a therapist to keep me balanced, started Pilates/yoga, started meditation and being as present as I can be in my family. It’s not as easy to say that I can pick up and go. I can’t. I have roots. I have a family. My husband has an amazing job with people who feel like they are family too. If I were 20, I’d be LONG GONE, but I’m not. So here we are. Now what. Well that’s what I’m figuring out and I will let you know. I’m sure I have many self tapes and traveling in my future but I need to figure out what the best way is for me.
All in all I guess my focus of this blog is to a. Let you guys in on what I’ve been doing and b. Let you guys know that I’m still working on myself but in a different way (with paid gigs in between lol). I want you to know that it is always ok to push hard and that when you reach your short term goals you need to reassess and keep pushing forward, which is what I’m doing now. I’m so happy that you guys can be a part of this journey with me. It’s amazing and I can’t wait to see what’s to come because I will not stop reaching for the stars.
Thank you and love you guys!!